She rages on...

I'm at a loss. I give. She wins. Parenting this way is a nightmare and I don't know how to do it.

Courtney is my gorgeous, intelligent, amazing 9 year old daughter. She challenges every fiber of my being. She is so controlling and nosey and if she doesn't like what's said to her or the way her brother looked at her and she keeps repeating STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT over and over again until she is screaming at the top of her lungs. It's unstoppable. Then she needs her asthma inhaler which I don't even think she really needs but she is hyper ventilating and then she is nauseated and melts into a puddle. Then a whopping pounding headache occurs that she's screaming about like she's dying. Ahhhh I'm exhausted just typing it. I hug her, give her tylenol and she is back to normal and the reason she was freaking out is suddenly unimportant. ahhhhhhhhhhhh how to I make it stop. Humans look at people. Kids are kids, if my 5 year old doesn't do it right the way Courtney tells her to in the game they are playing Courtney screams at her. I'm most sad for Reagan about that part. It's not right and now I think Reagan is doing it at Kindergarten.

All consequences in her life are somehow my fault. I take a way a privilege because I've had to ask her 15 times to get dressed for school. It's all my fault. She has a matte in her hair because she didn't brush it before she went to bed and I am supposed to get it out for her and it's all my fault. She goes into a complete rage when I suggest the thought of cutting her hair shorter so it's easier for her to care for. It's down to her waist for crying out loud. She sits at her homework and stares at it and it's my fault when she goes to school when it's not done. Rage on little girl rage on. I am at my wits end. I do not get physical with her. When I have to get out the door to get my other kids to school I just take on the roll as if she is a toddler but I have been kicked in the throat before. It's tough. One time she screamed until her nose bled.

I'm so lost I don't know where to turn. We have NO IDEA if she's having seizures in the night. The doctor seems completely unconcerned about it. The teacher at school said she's gone from straight A B student to almost failing if this continues. These last two years have been living hell. She is making it living hell for each and ever other person in this family of 5. It's not fair. Reagan is starting to act like her. Jordan laughs when she does it. He's so mellow that he doesn't understand. If you don't react to her or you ignore her issues she climbs right in your face and growls and stomps like she's going to fake hitting you.

Ahhhhhh I'm hoping typing this out helps me relieve some of this stress. We are having 1 to 2 rages per day lately and it's been 2 today. I'm spent. She did do her homework though. Thank you lord. She socializes just fine so why can't she function with her family? After her seizure she seemed to stop raging and I thought it was the Prozac that the pediatrician put her on. He upped it recently in hopes it would help but WOW so far no go. Worse not better. Where is my beautiful baby girl? I know she's in there. I glimpses of her and I want to soak up as much as I can when she's there so I can get through these times.

Remicade is magical for me

I am soooo much better. I love remicade and I feel so much better that I am only taking regular strength tylenol instead of codiene tylenol. It is a miracle to me. I am in love.

This second infussion went off without a hitch. 4 weeks now until my next one. I had the pleasure of meeting an elderly lady who was there for her first infussion and scared to death about the risks of the medication. I told her how I felt about improving my quality of life so I could adequetly parent my children and get more out of life than I was before this opportunity. I also feel lucky that this medication is available to me in my lifetime. When I was finished she got up and hugged me with tears in her eyes. She told me that she was certain that she was meant to cross paths with me and I had convinced her to remember that she needed to live with a more positive attitude towards life. I'm so glad that I could help her. My world is not really unique to any other chronicly ill mom out there. I don't think. I just need to remain that glass is half full attitude. Not that it's always easy. Every day is a challenge.

I can't believe how much laundry I need to do or that the Christmas trees (yes we have 2) need to be put up and on and on and on. Not to even mention the tiny dent I've only begun to put into the Christmas shopping. At least this year I will do it feeling better than last year. Putting one foot in front of the other is a little lighter than last year and that is the most wonderful Christmas gift ever.

Hopefully soon my colon will stop bleeding and I will no longer be enemic. The sight of so much blood is always sooo unnerving but that in itself is a bit of a hurdle to overcome. It's only been not quite 2.5 weeks but most of what I read says about 8 weeks till possible remission. I pray it's so. I think I'll call my gastro doctor for a pep talk today. He is an amazing man who always has time for me. A ton of my symptoms are better and that's so fabulous.

If I can raise 3 kids and foster a healthy marriage through this I can do anything. Right??


Laurie

Remicade

1st infussion done. Called day 0 and then 2 weeks and 4 weeks and then every 8 weeks.

No side effects that I noticed. I was tired when I got home and went to bed for the night in the late afternoon noticing some waking with hot flushing feeling in my face. Other than that it was pain free and fine. I drove myself an hour and a half to the clinic where the infussion took place and then drove myself home.

I did notice that a week after the infussion my bowel movement was solid for the first time in years but there was a significant amount of blood still. I know that's probably way too much information for my mommy blog but the first thing I did was go to good old google for some info on response to treatment times and could find nothing. So if I help one poor scared person out there just starting remicade then well it's worth it.

Unfortunately my 9yo daughter Courtney woke up with a lovely vomit fest of the flu yesterday morning and I now have it. Not really cool when your immune system is trying to infuse with a new drug and you cannot even get said drug if you have the sniffles. Soooo needless to say I feel like crap warmed over and pray it's completely cleared up for my next infussion this coming Wednesday.

Oh and I've managed to cut my T3 usage in half since starting the remicade. That speaks volumes to me. I still feel kinda yucky but the degree of yuck is much less I guess. I used to go for the tylenol when my sides were burning so bad and my back could not stand another minute of pain and everything just hurt all over. I would be near tears and now it's just way easier to get through the day. The inflamation in my body must be decreasing. It has to be for the pain to be that much less.

I am very pleased and only one infussion in. Goooo REMICADE!!!!

The day my life changed forever...

With all the wonder and excitement we packed and got up at the buttcrack of dawn to leave for our much anticipated trip to our family's farm. The kids were beyond thrilled to finally be leaving as we had missed the last year due to mommy's health so the fact that we were getting to leave on a Thursday morning and stay till Monday was perfect to them. Missing 2 whole days of school was fabulous. They bragged for weeks to their friends about how they were going to be riding quads and horses while everyone else would be sitting at a desk. Hubby and I had 3 very excited children.

Off we went. A quick stop for gas, coffee filled up and hit the freeway with the kids all snuggled up in their seats. Jordan sprawls in the back with his sleeping bag over him and the girls strapped into their gigantic britax husky carseats belted in with their blankets.

Forty-five minutes into our journey Hubby and I are chatting away and I can hear some kind of gurgling in the background. 3 kids behind us we expect them to make strange noises to eachother. This consistant gurgling sound was still going on so I looked back...

My beautiful amazing Courtney's eyes were rolled back in her head, she had bubbly foam coming out of her mouth and her hands were curled up so tightly under her chin. She was jerking around wildly and it was not stopping. She was not responding to anything. Dean kept asking me what do I do, what do I do, and I told him to pull off at the exit and pull into the hospital. Thankfully we were just before a freeway exit to a very small town hospital. Just before we got to the hospital she came out of it. I calmly explained to Courtney that she had had a seizure and we were taking her to see a doctor. At Hubby and my best guess it seemed to have lasted about a minute and a half. A grand mal seizure is not something that any parent should have to see their child endure.

The doctor did her vitals and she seemed fine. We left the hospital and imediately phoned our family doctor. He told us to take her straight to our home town hospital and he would have a pediatrician meet us there. Once we arrived we saw the ER medical doc and he said that he suspects that Courtney's previous infections when she was younger such as the blood infection when she was 3 years could have caused some scar tissue in her brain and this could very well be the issue. We then saw the pediatrican and he sent her straight in for a CAT scan. It came back normal and Hubby and I were sooooo relieved. While in the hospital though she began having these tingly sensations that happen all over her body and are followed by feeling nausious for a bit. This happened once in the hospital.

The entire time throughout all of this drama Courtney was concerned about her trip to the farm (it's an 8 hour drive). Over and over again she asked the doctors if she could still go on the trip. We kept telling her to wait and see what the doctors had to say. They said take her so we went. She was fine. She had one tingly episode on the way home and then a dozen more once we arrived home.

An EEG was performed and it came back normal. The why did it happen has us devestated.

The past year Courtney has gone downhill in school from the smartest kid in the class to the scatterbrain that cannot remember, been having horrible rage attacks where she cannot stop herself and doesn't care who it happens in front of and when her brother and her fight and he holds her to prevent being attacked by her she gets this absent look in her eyes for a couple of seconds followed by melting into a puddle of tears and claims she feels like puking.

All of these factors put together have me most worried. We were booked for another CAT scan with contrast dye and the radiologist told us when we arrived that the previous test asks for an MRI and NOT a CT with contrast. We were confused and went to talk to the pediatrician that we saw at the hospital. He has put Courtney on an anti-anxiety med (prozac 10ml) and so far no tingly feelings again so they might have been anxiety attacks. It still doesn't help us to know why she had the siezure or what it means when she fights with her brother and her eyes dialate and she changes so quickly. This pediatrician seems to just want to wait and see if it happens again and not do the MRI.

I don't know what to think. I am happy that she is going back to school (first day back yesterday) and is getting back to normal. She isn't scared anymore and that's so important to us.

After seeing that I don't think I'll ever be the same again. I won't ever look at Courtney the same again. My beautiful amazing daughter...

Why?

Marie-Therese Gown GIVEAWAY !!!!!!!

Marie-Therese Gown GIVEAWAY !!!!!!!

The MOST BEAUTIFUL GOWN I HAVE EVER SEEEEEEN!!!!!

A must see. And she's giving it away!!!

Ohhhhh to be so wonderfully talented.

My daughter's not ready for kindergarten...

It has been a rough start. I seriously would like to just pull Reagan and home school her but I don't think that would be the right answer. She needs to get with the program (for lack of a better way of putting it) eventually. Reagan would see homeschooling as punishment at this point.

You see we all know that Reagan is a "spirited" little girl. Into everything, very busy all the time, feels that she is always the most important person in the room, and very demanding when she needs to let you know what she has to say.

I don't see these as poor qualities in a child. YES I am aware that she has her own ideas and doesn't always follow direction when told to but she also is not a robot child.

Reagan is very interested in rhyming, matching, colors, and what everything is and absorbs everything she has learned from the teacher to date.

SHE CANNOT WRITE HER NAME ON HER OWN!!!! The teacher is having a fit about this. All 22 of the children in the class began with sitting at the table tracing their name a few times and then they move on to centers (read playing with toys). Now she has taken the tracing away and having them just write their name all by themselves. Reagan is lost and the teacher thinks it's a huge deal that Reagan still needs to trace it. I don't thinks so because it will come at her own pace. We practice at home and she now is REALLY embarrassed about the whole thing. Yesterday I printed worksheets for her to trace and write it herself at the bottom and she is having a hard time but she does do it with prompting. She won't attempt writing it alone in the blank lines without prompting and me standing there coaching her. She is really nervous about how. She seems to get nervous and shut down.

This teacher has ALWAYS made me nervous. She is very blunt and intimidating. She is shutting down every time the teacher puts expectations on her that she can't quite do yet so she just sits there.

The teacher is getting frustrated with Reagan and she knows it. By the end of class Reagan is doing her own thing is what the teacher tells me. She is very curt when she tells me this like she is miserable about it. My sister was there when she said that to me and we were both kind of stunned. She says it and just walks away.

I don't know how to help Reagan. I want her to love school and this is not a great start. Almost every day she tells me she almost cried at school today.

The things she has done in Reagan fashion

She put a bead in her ear and yes the teacher freaked and scared the crap out of Reagan. I don't know why she would do such a thing. That's just Reagan.

Then on the playground Reagan threw rocks and got a time out. Yes I was horrified that she would throw rocks and I'm sure she need a time out!

Now the listening issue and keeping Reagan on task is becoming a major one for the teacher and I think Reagan is rebelling against the teacher.

I'm stuck. I talk and talk to her till I'm blue in the face but I refuse to punish her for learning and trying to figure out what this school thing is all about. We are only in the second month.

Yesterday was the worst day for her and she was made to feel badly. She was given a piece of paper like all the rest of the kids to write her name. Reagan sat there. The teacher first took this as misbehavior THEN finally brought Reagan a tracing sheet and did it with her making a big deal of it. THEN moving onto an art picture to which Reagan shut down and did not do. AT this point the teacher took Reagan to be defiant. I am sure Reagan was embarrassed that she missed playing in centers by this time and was sad and confused so therefor shut down and couldn't function the way the teacher wanted her to.

I don't know how to help Reagan love school. This teacher is not helping matters at all.

UGH

Laurie

Just some boring stuff...

Reagan has been doing much better with Kindergarten. I think she's getting into the groove of things. Transition is tough for her I think. We did purchase a pre K workbook from Costco and she loves to work in it. She matches letters and knows her colors but really doesn't care what a letter is at this point. It will come and I don't believe in pushing anything with her. She'll just push back.

Remicade is coming soon. I need to wait until the middle of October for my darn TB test at the local health unit. We've got a mumps outbreak here so the health unit is swamped and just can't get my darn TB scratch test done until Oct.9th. Other than that it's all approved and affordable. I've developed the shakes lately so I'm really hoping someone calls me to let me know if I need another iron infusion soon or not. I don't know if I'd shake or not if my hemoglobin is low but it sure sucks. Keeps me away from the coffee for sure.

Courtney's teacher applied for a new position at the beginning of the school year and is now leaving one week into the year. So the poor class of grade 4's have been stuck with a sub since the second week of school while they wait for the school board to figure out who gets the job. I can't believe that my kid has to endure this. Last year was so horendous for her that this just takes the cake. I just pray that this teacher is kind and caring with the kids. I can see the anxiety coming out in Courtney every morning before school already. I cannot handle another repeat of last year.

Jordan seems to be doing his homework so far. He almost has enough lawn mowing hours to turn in to buy a laptop for himself. He's over the moon excited about it. I'm happy for him to reap the benefits of his hard work all summer. He's done good even though I've had to stay on top of him constantly. I hope it will get easier. I need to go into his school and talk to the school psychologist to make sure they get all his testing under way this year. He needs all of his learning disabilities tended to and monitored constantly or he'll just sit there doing nothing and saying nothing. He's more argumentative than ever with me in this teenager phase.

I must stop buying all these kids clothing. That's the only way I can see this laundry crisis getting any better. We all agree in this house that the pool table has become more of a laundry table than a pool table. It is clear now and maybe daddy and the kids can sneak a game or two in this weekend but not for long. Ha!

It never ends.

So the next adventure includes....

throwing rocks at her classmates! (Insert heavy sigh right here) Right as the children are coming out the door at the end of school session the teacher comes to me. NICE is all I could think in my head. (Sarcastically) I am truly horrified for the teacher. Don't get me wrong but Reagan is just such a creative expressionist. OK probably not a word but she expresses herself in very creative ways or maybe some might say aggressive. It only comes straight out of left field though so there is no consistency to her behavior. Oh the horror. I'm upset I don't know how to make you notice so I'm going to throw rocks at you? Could that be what she's doing? I don't know.

So Poor Teacher explains to me that Reagan had a fabulous day playing in the "house center" and at clean up time she did such an amazing job cleaning it all up. She was a perfect listener and the teacher gave her tons and tons of praise throughout this time. Then the end of their session (I wanna say day but they only go for 2.5 freaking hours lol) they all got to go outside and play on the playground. Rocks were thrown and some heads were narrowly missed. Teacher just about peed her pants and Reagan had to have a time out. End of story. This is my Reagan. Is it because she is our 3rd child, lack of preschool, parenting flaws, we just plain suck here. I'm stumped. OR she could be just one of those normal 4 year olds that's confident enough to be herself right away without the shy quiet reserved period of time. Which is freaking the teacher right out because in the conference she had for us she said they don't open up till after Christmas. All the kids are pretty much clammed up till then.

My kid has confidence. I'll give her that.

Laurie

Reagan has now turned on the charm ha ha ha

She stuck a bead in her ear!!! Yep. Am I surprised? Nope. Nothing surprises me with Reagan. So the teacher freaked and Reagan sulked and tried not to cry and the teacher was horrified that I would be mad and Reagan would tell me that she was a monster. Ha ha. That was just a taste of Reagan. We're just on the first week of full sessions now. Let the fun begin. I wished the teacher good luck and explained to her that Reagan is a busy girl and feels that she is ALWAYS the most important person in the room. Teacher agreed with that description of her and said Reagan is a spirited child. Hmmm YA THINK!

I am sure Reagan will do great things with her energy one day. She already does. Today she wants to play and run and do. Be creative now. Why wait when we can sing and dance right this second. Dean and and I just shake our heads. You just have to love her and hope she figures it all out as the weeks go by. I feel like she should have waited another year before she went. She is a big girl but mentally such a preschooler. Maybe I'm just a wimp about sending my last baby to school.

Oh and the teacher doesn't know if the bead came out of her ear because it was tiny. She seems fine and I can't see anything. Hmmmm.

Let's see what tomorrow brings...

Must do laundry tonight or the kids are going to school naked in the morning. They'd looooove that. heh.

Laurie

Oh yes! Upon picking up my child the teacher then proceeds to grind in the point by telling me that she doesn't even recognize the letter R which is really the first letter of her name. Gee lady I don't know that. Gawd I don't like the way this is heading and it's only the second week of the year.

You know what I'm not sorry. Reagan has spent her entire childhood so far playing, interacting with other children and her parents and family. She's never been to daycare and she doesn't watch really any TV at all. She is creative, energetic, social and it will come and come fast. She is only FOUR freaking years old for crying out loud. She is completely not interested yet. You know when they start asking "what does that say mom, what does that say??" she is so not there yet.

Not kindergarten mother of the year this morning

So all 6 of the kids (3 daycare 3 mine)are dressed nicely and hair primped and clean for school. Lunches are packed up and I asked Courtney to help Reagan get a snack to put in her backpack for her first full day of kindergarten. Uh oh. All the snacks purchased are healthy snacks in packages from Costco exept those darn Thinsations and Reagan of course chooses the oreo kind. I of course ask her what she chose as we were pulling up to the school. Well Dean and I just sat through a meeting last week all about kindergarten and were told HEALTHY SNACKS. Well crap I suck already. So I flag down the teacher at the door and apologize and say it won't happen again and she says "Reagan needs to learn to recognize her name ASAP! She is lost every time the children are asked to go to their name tag or pick up the item with their name on it." I tell her OK we'll work on it right away. I feel like double crap. What kind of mother am I. Should have sent the poor kid to preschool that second year when she was 4yrs. Yep I totally screwed up. NICE!

Note to self: less time in the bathroom with the colitis monster and more time teaching my daugher her name. This morning I was another 2 lbs lighter from yesterday thanks to lack of absorption. That's 32lb loss now in the last 3 months. Remicade cannot come soon enough. I am banking all of my hopes and dreams on this shot. Next option- surgery. More blood tests today or tommorrow to see if I need another iron infusion. This will be number 3. I seem to be losing blood at the rate of someone with a slow nosebleed. Kind of dangerous. I am soooo grateful for my doctor who does telephone visits sometimes 3 times per week and I NEVER have to call him. He is my knight in shining armour through the darkness that is pancolitis.

OK this all my guilt pouring out and excuses for my daughter not being able to recogize her name. We'll get in a couple of days. I called hubby and he said to make some flash cards to put up in the house of all the kids names. Hubby is the academic overachiever in the household. He'll patiently work with her till she gets it.

Fun stuff. I better go wipe some snotty noses and change some diapers and do some dishes. These little people are getting bored with the backyard playground and I think I hear a tractor on the front of the property. That always throws the little ones into a crying tailspin.

Into the house we go....

Laurie

Is it my clothing?my hair?do I smell?what?

Kindergarten moms are a tough crowd. This is my child to enter kindergarten and I just don't seem to click with the "in" moms this year I guess. It looks to me like most of them are preggo. I'm so over that part of my life. I'm the child care mom with two toddlers in hand at any given time scooting my third and final child off to kindy and deff not shedding a tear. A might bit frightened for the teacher maybe but that's about it. Reagan is so ready and enjoys the break. We did preschool when she was 3 yrs just to be sure the structured environment was manageable for her and it was with a few weeks of redirection she got it and enjoyed. Never a tear. She truly enjoyed it. Being a structured in home daycare provider it seemed rediculous to send my child out of th home for something we offered right in our own home so we kept her home. I am pleased that the transition the kindy has gone well. PHEW! The moms though seem to beline for any mom but me and intoduce themselves. I'm stumpted. I vow to now shower before kindergarten drop off and do my hair. Sheesh we'll see how that goes. hmphf It's tough enough to primp each and every kid that goes through my door.

Laurie

Finding time to blog

My health has been such an issue lately that I have not had the time nor the energy to blog. There is hope though. All my trips to the hospital an hour away for iron infusions and scopes in the "exit only" area of my body has finally landed me in the fast track for remicade. I need to do some reading on it but it is definately a med that gives me hope. There is a lot of success with it and colitis. I will have to shell out about 800.00 every six weeks for it though. That's crazy but the actual cost per dosage is 4000.00 and my medical plan only covers 80%. So in the grand scheme of things it's not so bad. It's my health/life/energy we're talking about. I know my husband would sell his soul to make me better so the money is not an issue to him at all.

My kids are wonderful. Reagan just started kindergarten. My husband and I are scared to death at what she will say or do next and if she is going to act like the teenager she does at home. For example: The teacher hands me Reagan's painting and says "WOW Reagan sure puts alot of detail into her artwork Mommy. You should take a look," as her and Reagan are both looking at me. I must have turned white as a ghost thinking OMG she drew boobs on the people didn't she. The teacher went back into the classroom and we were walking to the van and I looked at the painting and let out a huge sigh of relief. I was seriously horrified.

Courtney is in Grade 4 this year with all her favorite friends. So far so good. Slight obsession with Hannah Montanna and the fact that her friends tell her that she looks like Miley Sirus. I guess it's her age. Slightly hard to tolerate some days with all the hair flicking and the eye rolling. I'm pretty sure it only gets worse from here on out. I'm a little frightened. Trying not to show it though. I must stay strong. It's her brother I worry about. He might lock her up and throw away the key. 13 year old boys have NO tolerance for 9 year old girls AT ALL.

Jordan is a TEENAGER in grade 8. Lord help me be the most tolerant parent I can be with him. Jordan has turned green and grown warts all over his body. This is our analogy of adolecence in this household. Jordan thinks its hilarious but totally understands what we mean. He even says he DOESN'T LIKE ME BUT DOESNT KNOW WHY!!!!! SOB SOB SOB It took me a while to get over that one. It's getting a bit better. Jordan's bio dad purchased a cell phone for when Jordan is home alone at his house as he doesn't have a land line there. Well Jordan is allowed to carry this phone around as if he is a hot shot. Hubby and I were not on board with this responsibility at all with him carrying it around. Jordan cannot keep anything safe for long periods of time. Sooooo fast forward to this weekend when they were at lacrosse practice and the hooligan boys were running through the corn fields like the hooligans they are. Wait for it.... wait for it.... YESSSS HE LOST HIS PHONE!!!! 45 minutes of him and hubby looking (the kid had the thing turned on vibrate so they couldn't even phone it to find it) they came home because Jordan figures "it's all good, I'll just buy a new one with the money I've earned working this summer" Yeah NOT LIKELY KIDDO. He cried didn't understand why and we explained that our rules are that he will not be purchasing a cel phone for himself with ANY money until he is at least 17 yrs old. END OF STORY. The rules didn't change because his bio dad took a gamble and let him carry that one around. Soooooo I took him back down to the corn field and it's amazing how much harder he looked after he realized he didn't just get to buy a new one. I, me, mommy found it and have told him he owes me daily hugs forever now. He has agreed. LOL The tough part is if we hadn't have found it it would have some how been ALL MY fault till he was old enough to get one of his own. Funny how it works for us parents. Not so fair.


I must convince Reagan to take a nap with me. I have an hour and a half before the girls get out of school.

OooooOOoooo the remicade coordinator lady just called and I might get full coverage for the cost of the drug. I'm over the MOOOOOONNNNN!!!!

Laurie

Back to blogging

I haven't really blogged in a looooong time as I've been busy building an online childrenswear consignment store. More than I ever imagined and not done yet. Still needs to be filled with items. Big sigh of long hard work ahead of me but will be worth it in the end.

Doing daycare with toddlers on a partime basis for parents that need it partime. I have children fulltime though just a variety of different toddlers of different days. A brand new cutie comes today. Never been away from mom before and she is more frightened than him I'm sure. I requested that she leave him at the door rather than hang around in the house and sneak off. He would be heartsick searching my house for her. At least if he knows she left out the door he will know she will return into the door and not think she is somewhere in the house. He is 16 months old.

The main reason I am starting to blog again is I am forcing myself to make dinners every night and I want to keep a record of what I make so when I look back when I have no mind to think I can make a grocery list. LOL I know I don't make sense but I need a record I can easily find.

Shepards Pie - big hit with everyone in the Family
Meatloaf, Mashed Potatoes and Canned Corn - big hit with everyone in the family
Roast Chicken and Potatoes, Carrots and onion - everybody likes it.
Spagetti and Meat Sauce - everybody likes it.
Chicken and Pasta with Tomato Sauce - OK
Pork Chops Baked in Mushroom Soup and Potatoes - OK
Breaded Shnitzle Oscar with Mashed Potatoes and Green Beans and Oriental Salad - big hit with the whole family.

So far that's it since new years. If you can't tell it's my resolution. I think I might end up gaining weight out of this deal though. UGH Not cool. I'm hoping the grocery bill goes down with the fewer convienience foods purchased. I'll have to see. I do find when I shope for meal planning purposes I buy less and spend less but seem to have things that go farther if that makes sense. The combinations of what I purchase seem to just *work* for me. I managed to get out a cookbook GASP and that's a miracle.

Spagetti tonight and grocery shopping at Costco tomorrow. Must make a list first.

Laurie

Day trip to the ocean

I've been listing on ebay like a maniac.

Well I've been a negligent blogger because I've been doing my kids yearly clothing recycle on ebay. I sell all of there stuff from the previous year and then buy new stuff for the current year. It works fabulous and every year I make about 600.00 -1000.00 US dollars and then spend it right back on school clothing and shoes for all 3 of them. My husband LOVES it. LOL I've only just started though and I need to list about 10 -20 auctions a day to get it all done. It's sooooo overwhelming because it seems that I just keep buying more and MORE every year. LOL. I think my girls each have 20 pairs of shoes. OH. MY. GOSH. I'm hurtin for certain. I'll have to post a picture of the chain and combo lock that Dean put on the girls closet so Reagan doesn't play dress up in her closet every day until every hanger is bare. It looks rather barbaric to me. I'm going to cover it in pink and sage ribbon and bows. Watch though Reagan will rip them off. I hope not. LOL I'm still in shock that my baby girl is growing out of her size 5 clothing and is going to be in size 6 and a size 11 shoe this fall. It makes my heart hurt a little. I'm glad she's healthy and growing though.
Anyone know how to get paint out of clothing? I could cry for the gymboree clothes that reagan got paint on when we were painting our house interior. UGH!
Laurie

This was on Friday we promised to take her to the waterpark but instead we stayed home and played in the grotto.*** We've had quite a few days of cold and rain now.
Daddy is taking the girls up to the top of the big hill out back to hit some balls so he can warm up for his big work golf tournament the next day. Gracie cannot figure out for the life of her why the balls aren't for her. LOL Courtney wouldn't carry the kids golf bag up the hill but Reagan would. Go figure.

Back to my ebaying.

Laurie

Oh if you ever want to look up my ebay auctions Reagans Ragz click the link. Not for sales but just because I think they're neat. I designed them all around the kids pictures and it was a ton of work but fun. I've set up many of my friends doing ebay the same way. I am soooooo not a sales person so ebay works great for me. One of these days I will put some of my bows with my auctions. I think my house is exploding with bows. LOL I just don't ever know how much to charge. I hate that part.

***Grotto is next door in Uncle Murray and Aunty Donna's backyard. Not mine. I wish. LOL Same property but outside their kitchen doors.

Well that was painful.

I *think* I had a gall bladder attack. That is really painful. Constant aching in the upper right quadrant under my ribcage shooting up to my shoulder blade. 6HOURS this went on for and I cried out loud sobbing while my husband begged me to go to the hospital. I am so good at having the instinct to know when my children need to go in to be assessed at the hospital but for myself I am not so great. I stayed home and found our local medical handbook that they send out that tells you what's what and when to go to the hospital guide and it said the pain was in the area of infamation of the liver (common for me with lupus issues?) or gall bladder attack. I was so happy that I had a doctors appointment the next morning at 9:40 so I waited. He said the same thing as the book did and sent me for blood work to make sure my liver function is ok. I know it's not the greatest but I hope it's not worse. I don't even understand it. It comes back weird because of something to do with pain/inflamation in my body. Like the fact that my arms are burning right now just from typing this much. I just know that by mistake I went for the liver function blood testing before my lung CAT scan a few months ago and it wasn't even nessesary that I go because it's for people that are over 60 and under 20 that they check your liver before you have the contrast dye at the CAT scan. I was told to go by mistake and I went but it was lucky I did because they were just about to insert the IV for the contrast dye and someone yelled NOOOO. I need to have meds to protect my liver before the test is done. When I was getting changed the technicians were looking at my results and saying "poor poor girl, she is soooo young for this" I bawled uncrontollabley all the way home. Gall bladder issues do make so much sense though and maybe that will be enough for me to cut an amount of fat out of my diet that will show weight loss. I would be so happy about that. I had to laugh today because Jordan was trying to call his friend that lives one town away and it's just far enough that he has to dial 1 in front of the phone number to call long distance. So he calls and then comes running into my room. I can't remember Chris's phone number. I thought I did but a chinese person answered and I think I called China by accident. I played along and said gosh that could get expensive. So he says good thing I only talked for less than a minute and I said sorry. He's too funny. We had a bbq with my husbands family last night and it was a ton of fun. Can't believe I didn't break out the camera but I didn't. Dean made some fabulous ribs on his man size bbq from fathers day. At least he could bbq all the ribs at once LOL. I just asked him how that was for him and he was giddy. ROFLMAO Oh yeah baby I could have done all 3 packs at once. He got his BBQ for fathers day. Lucky for me I let him go into the store and pick it out himself. He would have been VERY disappointed with my choice. I never would have gone so large. Oh well. Glad he's happy and looks forward to coming home to BBQ after a long day in the hot sun. He's a construction supervisor for the civil works so he never gets out of the sun in the summer time. Where he is there is just piles of dirt and pipe with no building to duck into the shade unless it's an outhouse. Ewww. Courtney starts Twisters Gym Club day camp this week. Should be fun. Jordan we're still not too sure about what to do with. Reagan and Jordan will go to the water park tomorrow with my sister in law and I. They'll like that. I'm starting us all on vitamin B1 this week as I've researched and talked our family dr and pharmacist about it. It's water soluble and not fat soluble so it's safe to give to Reagan. Once it is in your system for 2 weeks the mosquitoes leave you alone. Sounds great to me. Costco was sold out of B1 because I guess there's lots of people that take it for that purpose the pharmacist said. I really hope it works for us. Living in the bushes in the middle of town has it's draw back but only when it comes to mosquitoes and blackberry bushes. LOL We love every single other part of it. OK the racoons that got aunty Donna's cat are not cool either. Dean came into the house the other morning to inform me that he was stealthily following a couple of Deer around the property taking pictures. At one point they were right up at the house. They are so funny. I wonder what they think of us. I'll have to track down Dean's camera and check out his pictures. Well I better go find my little Reagan. She's been quiet for the last few minutes. Could be trouble. I hope not. Laurie

We made it!

HOME all in one piece. We just spent the last Friday, Saturday, and Sunday up at a place called Deka Lake Resort. While it was rugged and out in the woods it was right on the lake and the bathrooms were sooooo clean I was absolutely giddy with delight when I entered them. Sounds crazy I know but it's pretty relieving when your 3 year old can use the facilities on her own with her big brother or sister in tow. Something I just cannot do in say a shopping mall bathroom because god knows what you'll find in there. Ahhhh just don't touch ANYTHING!!! This was a complete relief.
There was also a really nice play structure from this decade that we could see from all areas of the resort. That was a total bonus. Oh and the lake is so full of huge fish the men were giddy with delight. LOL They even had a games cabin that they offered up for all of our kids to sleep in if they wanted. I actually never entered it but my kids said it was kinda dusty/dirty. They seem to detect dust so easily because they have asthma I think. I have no idea but I know my kids are kinda picky. We had two twelve yr olds, two 14 yr olds and two 8 yr olds and one 3 yr old so nope not going to happen. They all stayed in the appropriate tent/cabin because they needed to sleep not party all night long. LOL
The place was wonderful. Situated right on the water with canoes for the kids and proper life jackets that fit them. They had a blast. Needless to say Reagan didn't go out without daddy but the rest of them did. Fun was had by all.
Oh and the reason we were at this camp/resort place was for a friends wedding. They actually did the marriage part at city hall the day before so 07 07 07 I don't think is their actual aniversary but I told them they were on their own time this weekend and however they wanted to work it it would work. So at 07 07 07 and seven minutes after seven. Dam that's allot of sevens. They each did a speech to eachother and the group pledging their love to one and other. Of course I bawled. She thanked his son for being such a wonderful boy because she was there when he was born. Then after the current relationship failed 2 yrs later they got together.
She had nobody there to take pictures of anything and she even wore her wedding dress so I took 600 pictures. I am soooo not a proffessional and have no clue what I am doing. I would never volunteer my services as knowing what I am doing but she was just about in tears of happiness when she saw the pics on my camera so I think it's what she really wanted. Free too. She had also mentioned to me a day or two before we left that there wasn't really any flowers up there so when we got there I told her that I would decorate with wildflowers. My girls and I must have picked about 1000 daisies from the sides of the roads and then I had some of the teenagers put them into little bunches. Then I attached them all along this old fence and it looked just fabulous. Oh but my hands stunk like daisies and wild dasies smell like doo doo or maybe they all smell like that. Thankfully my little girls didn't figure that out until the end. It was all over for them after that. LOL
For her wedding present I'm going to do a large hardcover book for her from Costco with wedding and camp pics. Showing the fun had by all and a list of all the people who came to celebrate with them.
My kids were so well behaved that there was no whining and no melt downs the whole time. A bit too much sun for everyone though. We are all burnt. Jordan shiverred all the way home. I was so worried about him. He is totally fine now though and didn't seem to get a headache or throw up. Phew.
Masses of mosquitoes NOT SO FUN!!!
Here are some of my pics.

Every time I turn around

she's trashing something! What in the hell is a mother supposed to do? I think I need a leash for this preschooler. We were going to buy a pool for the yard this summer but have just decided that FORGETTIT. That could be the most hazzardous thing we ever did. We can't even keep control of our house how the hell could we keep control of our 3 year old from drowning in it. I could not live with myself if that happened so we'll wait a few more years. PHEW! So last night or shall I start with yesterday she gleeped the bottle of whipping cream from the fridge and sucked the entire thing back in her room emptied her closet wearing EVERY outfit she could get her dirty mits on and got it dirty as well or threw it on the floor and the cat graciously pissed on it. Fucking cat. I forgot to mention that there ARE locks on the closet doors to prevent this sort of thing but said 3 yr old has taken to musical bar stools for reaching. UGH pushed our chow out the window (it's a floor level opening window) into the flower box of pansies and then picked said pansies which just recently bloomed a burst of yellow bunches right ousided the bottom of the girls bedroom window. Grrrrrrrr Took her afternoon snack of cherries up to the top bunk on her sisters bed and ate them up there spitting the cherry pits on pretty white and pink princess sheets. Took bucket of chocolate icecream out of the fridge and straight to her room to eat with her hands. Head to toe chocolate in two minutes. Cranberry juice spilled on the floor of her room. (no wonder my carpet shampooer is my best friend) Not one piece of makeup that could ever enter this house will and can ever remain in my possession because my monster 3 year old is like hudini and takes it and hides it and uses it and it's hell. I hate that people keep giving her these cutesy little bottles of nailpolish because she hides them in her pocket and puts them on in the van while I'm driving. My pooor poooooor poooor van. I HATE nailpolish. Reagan has ruined it for me. She has painted the bathroom downstairs with nailbpolish. She scopes the house for body cream or hair conditioner and slathers it ALL OVER her body. I'm just waiting for the time that she gets into the self tanning cream. It's up high and in a cupboard but that don't mean anything. She cut her hair when we were at my girlfriends house with the thinning shears and tells everyone that the fairy godmother did it. I feel like puking now. I keep thinking I need to be more alert with her. I am seriously a stay at home mom who is with Reagan all the time. She sneaks off and when I think she is watching a show or playing while I do house cleaning she does these things. She is fast and sneaky. When people are over or whatching her they are astounded at what she's capable of doing and thinking of. I am seriously going nuttttts! I bet your 3 year old sounds like an angel now. Laurie

Lack of pull ups Not so Good!

Well we failed our attempt at pull up graduation. I woke up last night with a shirt soaked in pee. UGH!! Not so cool. Especially on my brand new mattress that does not have plastic. Of course Reagan does not even stirr when I change her and wipe her down. What is with that child? Back to the world of buying pullups and counting them to make sure I buy more so we don't run out. I think I'll wait till the peeing machine is dry every night and give her a reward for it. We'll see.
My sister took the girls to the vancouver game farm yesterday. They had a blast. Of course when they were trying to get my niece to take a nap in the stroller for a bit they asked Reagan to refrain from sharing the fact that there was an amazing play park there until after they ate their lunch. Of course Reagan marches straight over to Miss Madison (almost 2 yrs old) in the stroller and anounces with great emphasis that there is a HUGH PARK THERE. With swings and slides and climbing things and on and on. She is such a brat. Of course Maddy's nap and lunch went out the window and they went to the park. How's that for rewarding the brat. No wonder my kid is a menace. It works for her.
Then of course while they were there Reagan thought she would lick the garbage can oh and the table top of the picnic table. What the hell! Freakishly disgusting. Why oh why does Reagan do these things? Of course my sister just about died when all this went down and Reagan thought it was a hoot. What the heck is going to happen when this little monster goes to school. Will she do disgusting things to make people notice? We talk about germs and bugs and not touching things that could make you sick. Heck Courtney's a germ phob and Reagan's a germ addict. YUCK! I hope she grows out of it. She is not lacking in attention wherever she goes she get's it from all angles.
Oh and we were informed yesterday that Max and Ruby (the cartoon characters) are GRAMPIRES! Whatever that is but she seems to think it's some type of monster. LOL They are very very bad apparently.
That's my ramble for the morning. I'm sure it makes no sense.

Here are some pics my sister took of the kids. She had her flash on in the sun. Why I do not know but some of them look better in bw or sepia so I switched them. Cute still because they are all my loving cuties.

Miss Maddy Moo
Reagan the germ aholic

Courtney and the Donkey
My brother in law put them in a tree.
Maddy eating ice cream. She calls it peem peem.
The disgusted look.
Reagan the gooey girl.